The holiday season is upon us. We have Thanksgiving this week and then it’s just a matter of weeks before Christmas and New Years. Crazy how fast the semester has gone by. I’ve been busy with school, not getting hired, and there always seems to be something with my friends. Plus, the time flies when I get to see Sr. Francisco almost every day on Skype.

Right now I’m packing to spend the next week with Nicole and her family down in Connecticut. It should be a relaxing week, but I need to get some school work done so it won’t just be all sleep, movies and food (unfortunately). And, as per most of the time, I am over packing. The thing is that I usually overpack, but stuff it all together so compactly that not many people notice (ex. everything I brought to Brazil…). That’s usually why I insist on carrying my own bag, by the way, so you don’t find out how heavy (and thus compactly stuffed) it is. Plus, I like to show off my pack-mule skills. “I am strong like BULL.”

But it’s almost 5:00pm and totally dark outside, so I’m sitting with my light-therapy lamp on all the way up. That, coupled with my loud and fun music usually keeps the demons at bay. It’s been working so far.

In exactly one month I will be in Brazil, reunited with my Boo. It’s pretty exciting to think about, actually. And a bit nerve-racking because I don’t have my visa in hand yet. We’re working on it, though. I’m super excited to spend the holidays with Francisco, and meet his family, but I’m kinda sad that I’ve now missed a Colorado Christmas two years in a row. There’s always something magical about that season, with sunny but cold days. Plus, my parent’s house is always so warm (except for the basement) and happy to be in. They designed it well. And I’m starting to miss my own bed… but that’s another story.

Over a month ago I decided to apply for the Fulbright. The official deadline isn’t until next fall, but there is a Smith program that helps you get everything in order which really help your chances of getting it. Smith has something like an 80% acceptance rate, which is a LOT higher than the national average. So, I started. And it’s already a pain in my ass. I have to jump through a couple thousand hoops, and then do it backwards. But if it means I get to do a project that I’m really interested in, in a place that I really want to be, then I guess it’s worth the suffering until then. Unfortunately, I think the adviser is a little bit of a jackass. But he’s apparently amazing at his job.

In other news, the Smith Orchestra had their Fall concert last weekend. It went really well. Beethoven is always fun to play. Well, that’s all I have for right now.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

It’s been about three weeks since I’ve been back on campus to finish up my last year of school. I’m getting used to living in the dorms again, but this time I have a single so I don’t have to hide all my messy habits of not picking up after myself. Not sure if this is a good thing or not, but I’m certainly comfortable.

Classes are going fine so far. I’m taking four courses, which include a yoga class and a special studies. It’s pretty low-stress so far. And I plan on keeping it that way. If there’s one thing I learned in Brazil, it’s that there is no reason to worry and stress about these kind of things. Everything works itself out in the end. That said, I do study a lot more than I did down there. Smith doesn’t let you off easily.

While I was walking back from the music building in the late afternoon, I decided to soak up the sun (before the cold and dark winter sets in). So I sat down in the grass and called everyone that I know here, so I could have some company. Unfortunately, I know very few people here, since all the upperclassmen have graduated and I don’t know/haven’t met the underclassmen yet. I ended up soaking up the sun alone.

Yesterday, the girls and I decided to go to a corn maze. I haven’t done this since I was young, but I think I had more fun yesterday than I ever had as a child. It was just the four of us: Melissa, Nicole, Emily and I, and a corn maze in the design of Darwin’s face. It was a beautiful and sunny day, to boot. Afterward, we drove up to Sugarloaf “Mountain” and got a great view of the valley. Here are a few highlights:

the girls

the maze

the food

the valley

One week left in Boulder, and then I’m back to Massachusetts and the Smith bubble. Even with the reverse culture shock and adjustment period, it has been amazing to spend the summer in my hometown, with family and old family. But, honestly, I haven’t done very much while here. I’ve gone down to Denver many times, and went up to Fort Collins once, but I haven’t spent any time in my beautiful mountains and even within Boulder I haven’t done a lot of things that I wanted to do. This is in part because my internship job took up most of my time during the week, and then all I wanted to do was sleep and see friends during the weekend. So with my last week here, I want to cross off a few things from my list.

As some people may know, I get a bit anxious when traveling, and I got my first dose of it last night. I had some stressful dreams about packing and finishing up my business here, and woke up with a sore neck and my heart racing. Not good. To calm my fears, I made a list of things not to forget. After thinking about it more, I don’t think I’ll be able to take my guitar with me to Smith. With my luggage and my cello I don’t think I’ll be allowed any more on the plane. As much as I wanted to learn how to play it, I don’t know if I’ll even really have time to play much at Smith. That school has a way of killing all your dreams…

Speaking of school, I’m moderately excited for my last year there. I have no idea what my class schedule will look like, since it was very hard to register while abroad. But I’ll do my best not be stressed with the work load. I’d like to have some time to figure out my life… ya know, life after college. We’ll see how that goes.

In other news, Francisco is lighting up my life, as much as he can while still being in a different hemisphere. I spent my summer earnings to buy a ticket down to see him over Christmas and January. I’m counting the days until I get to see him. Long distance relationships are hard, but we’re both invested in making it work. Plus he’s an excellent Portuguese professor.

WHOOT!! Finally 21 years old! ….now I won’t be as discriminated in social scenes. Damn our society where we judge maturity by a single number. I was responsible enough to drink legally years ago. And yet some kids turning 21 these days are just that: kids. I’d also like to blame conservative parenting for that. I think in general the parents in this society don’t know how to raise their kids without taboos (so everything is on the table and experimented safely).

Also, thanks Mom and Dad for taking a really relaxed parenting approach and always being supportive and nonjudgmental. It has made me the person I am today, and that is priceless. Also, thanks to my older brothers who wore down my parents so I could have it easier. You guys are the best.

So, this ends my year abroad in Brazil. I’m official back in the states and (for the most part) readjusted. I’m still saying “obrigada” and “sim” and when I’m upset I shouldn’t be help accountable for what mix of languages spurt out. But I’m home. Sleeping in my own bed. Walking around my house half-clothed (although I can’t do that right now since there are house painters wandering about). And as fabulous as it is to see friends and family, and to be working a job that I find fascinating, I still spend almost every other minute thinking about Brazil. or Brazilians. or Brazilian food. or any number of my wild adventures in Brazil. It was almost like a dream. But SO much better. And I hope not to forget this year like I forget so many of my dreams.

There were certainly good and bad moments. But together they made the experience what it was and molded me to who I am today. hmm, that sounds so cheesy. But I can tell you that I’ve been getting a bunch of comments. Brazil DID change me, whether or not people can actually pin point how. And I am all the better for it. I couldn’t have asked for a better year. And now I have the pleasure of trying to hold two equally influential but completely different worlds in my heart and mind. And only a select few can cross the line between the two with me. I hope to one day bring my loved ones to the other side, but it’s a hard line to cross for many reasons. In the meantime, I’m already thinking and plotting my return. I almost feel incomplete in my old life. And I certainly feel over privileged and spoiled here. But this also means that I can consciously change the world around me to be more global and less like a bubble.

In fact, I’ve already started, with this internship that I’m doing right now. I’m working with the City of Boulder (yes, the Boulder Bubble) to incorporate new programs, new ideas and new life into the Comprehensive Plan (and Climate Action Plan) that reflects the global world. I’m super excited, and can’t think of anyone else that would actually enjoy this job. More for me, haha.

So that’s where I’m at; pining for Brazil and Francisco, while getting used to the diversity and myriad of opportunities that the US has to offer. The photo is of my first sight of Colorado in a year:

The wedding was fun, even though I didn’t know very many people. I actually talked for a while with this woman in the picture with me, Chile. I’d already met her a few months ago, and hit it off right away. We talked politics, cultural differences, education, corruption etc. It’s always great to find those that are willing to actually engage you in serious conversation. I hope to stay in contact with her at some level. Very interesting woman.

And on sunday I went to church with Lucia. I figured I should go at least once with her, so why not make it the last sunday I’m here. It is a really old and beautiful church. And since she plays music there, we got vip seats and a special tour (up in the balconies). Wish I brought my camera with me…

It doesn’t look like I’ll be playing in that wedding any more. It’s just too last minute, and I won’t be able to practice before hand. I’m still going, though, and am excited to see what a brazilian wedding looks like. Speaking of weddings, I’m almost 90% sure that Maria’s brazilian boyfriend is going to propose to her before she leaves. He’s been hinting. It’s so cute!

I made a cake yesterday as a Valentine’s Day present for Francisco. And I’ll be giving it to him tonight. Hope he likes it… I think it’s the first cake I’ve ever made, since I usually chose cookies or pie over cake. I’m pretty proud of it. Maybe I’ll post pictures of it later.

Okay, well technically, only 10 days before I leave Salvador, and then another three before I’m on a plan to the states. Eitherway, I had to make a list of things I want to/have to do before I leave. It was a pretty long list. And now I need to add one more thing to it. When I got home from my last Portuguese class (in Brazil) today, Lucia was rehearsing with a violinist and a clarinetist. They are playing for her niece’s wedding this saturday. And get this -the violinist also plays cello, and they thought it would be a great idea for me to play with them at the wedding! I maybe should’ve reminded them that I haven’t played in a whole year… but I was just too excited to get my hands on a cello again… Plus, I already promised Lucia that I would go to the wedding with her, so I might as well keep my self busy since I won’t know anyone there. Unfortunately, the wedding is early the morning after the Brazilian Valentine’s Day. And I actually have plans, for the first time in years. Should be good: Japanese food, sunset, and a really great guy. I’m going to do my best to fit everything I want to do into the next week. This also includes going to a few museums I put off, and finally going to church with Lucia (I know it will mean a lot to her). And, of course, I need to pack and eat lots of açaí. I also realized that I haven’t taken my camera out of the house in months. I really sucked at the picture taking this semester. Mostly because I was always afraid of getting robbed, since it happens on the street all the time. Especially to gringa whities like me. At least I’m smarter than most.

I’ve already taken care of most of my finals (had a test and turned in a paper today), and only have one more test and a presentation left to go. Thank God. But I wish I had more time. I never did get to travel like I wanted to this semester. And I can’t remember the last time I’ve been to the beach (that’s not something I’m honestly TOO sad about). But I would like to go at least one last time before I head out -weather permitting.

I’ll be on my way home in a heart beat. Look out USA!

I just got word a few days ago that my dearest kitten, Muppet, has passed on to a better world. She will be sincerely missed by everyone that was ever blessed to know her as I did. I hope to have a small service for her when I get back to Colorado.

Ironically, a little over a week ago, a new kitten came into my life. She is a street cat, dirty and starving, but beautiful and completely loving. I’ve spent several nights tending to her, giving her milk and love. I know as I help her she is helping me to get over my loss. I believe that the world is completely interconnected and that there are no coincidences. My path crossed with this cat at the same time I lost my Muppet. Death means new life somewhere else. I just wish I could’ve kept her will me forever.

But in good news, the new Harry Potter movie is coming out on my birthday. And I’m in love with all that my life here has to offer. And I only have about two and a half more weeks in Brazil (this one is on the line between good and bad news). And my host mother finally decided to get wireless internet in the house (just in time for my last few weeks here…).

joined the family

brazilian mom

Monster Leka

friends

family

It’s the final countdown. And I’m completely torn. Finally found my footing here, and I’m about to leave. Thank God I decided to stay for the whole year. These are pictures of some of the lovelies that I’m leaving here. I will hopefully take more pictures of the ones not shown, by the time I leave. But I’m bringing so many fabulous experiences back with me. Wow, that sounded corny. But oh-so-true. Just watch out.